Monday, January 30, 2012

What Kind of Person Goes Around Making Girls Cry?

The Registrar had put together a devastating list of complaints about my conduct. I was rude, aggressive, disrespectful, you name it. But the most inexcusable act of all was this: I made a girl cry. What kind of horrible person does that? Apparently, I do.

Not only that, it was clearly part of a pattern of behavior. Several faculty members and students complained that I was "prone to personal attacks on students and professors"; several other complainants confirmed that such behavior was "typical in classes during the term". 

Obviously, the Registrar was not going to include any details about these incidents which might allow me to identify the complainants; after all, those complaints were made in confidence, and it would be unfair to the complainants to expose them to my possible violent rage if I knew who they were and what they had said about me. The Registrar had wisely chosen to give me only the information that I absolutely needed, and no more.

I'm sure you'd like to know just exactly what I did to make that girl cry, but like me, you're just going to have to wait a little longer to find out.

1 comment:

  1. I knew that's what you wanted! Their names! My exact thought a few postings ago was "what? does this guy want their names too?" Have a gun somewhere in your closet you didn't get to use in high school?